I know many of you will say "do you have to go back?" and the answer is I'm choosing to - and I'm actually ready in most ways. I've felt nutty only being focused on Zach: his sleep, feeds, poo, and milestones: "Why isn't he rolling over, when everyone else seems to?", "Why is his poo green this week?" (the answer was rice), "Why does he squeal when other kids don't?", "Is it ok if he doesn't put on a lot of weight, even though he keeps getting rapidly longer?". I've come to realise that the 'competitive' mother thing for me, is not driven by wanting Zach to be the quickest or the best at these things, it's just to make sure he's ok - that he will be ok - that there isn't anything else I should be doing as his mum. I applaud those of you who can make this your world - but I think for me, I'm a better person by having something else - time that is about success, and mental stimulation, and self-actualisation, and adult conversations, and hopefully that will mean being a better mum too. But right now - I'm feeling the pull and the compromises I will need to continue to make.
But on with the progress - we started solids on Sunday! Zach sank a bowl of baby rice like he'd been doing it his whole life. I think we timed it right - he was much more comfortable and upright in his high chair (thanks Anne-Marie!!), and able to swallow easily. And as boring as this mush was to us, he seemed to think it was all right.
I'm also weaning him from breastfeeding for the middle of the day feeds, with the hope that I'll be able to maintain the morning and evening feed once I'm back at work. I'm not completely convinced this will be possible, given the challenges I had with supply, but I'll give it a royal-hot go. If it doesn't work, at least we're lucky enough to live in a part of the world where food is plentiful, formula is available and safe, and our son will be well fed regardless of his mother's milk making abilities.
Zach is also in the process of teething, before we left for Phuket, he had a number of white bumps on the gums which gave him some grief (they've since receded somewhat). He's been pretty keen to chew on whatever he can get his hands on. His first two flavours aside from milk were - aniseed (Bonjella), and lime (close enough to lemon)...
This was actually the second time he tried the lime, the first time we'd been laughing too hard to take photos! We took the fact that he went back for a second time to mean it hadn't been to terrible!Phuket wasn't just new flavours for Zach - we had baby elephants, Song Kran (Thai New Year), acrobatics, swimming in the ocean, hanging out with Uncle Matty, and a little piece of paradise. Here's the pics for your vicarious living!
The next week or so are all moving towards Edna as another of Zach's major carers, so far she's been fabulous and he seems to really enjoy the time he has with her. The fact she's feeding him may have something to do with it! But it is a little easier to mentally prepare for the handover when he's visibly happy with her.
Putting this entry together has been cathartic - not only do I get to see my beautiful little boy when he next wakes, but I've also got to look back on so many moments of his growth and our learning in the last few weeks. I hope you're enjoying as much as us.
Lots of love,
Nik, Trent & Zachary
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